Things I Want to Remember

I just put Beck down to bed, and as I was rocking him, I started making a mental list of all of the things I don't want to forget about this season of life:

~the things I do when he is crying that I tell myself make him feel better (when they actually just make me feel better): kiss him over and over again on the forehead, tell him over and over again how much I love him, sing "Jesus Loves Me" sooooo many times

~the face he makes when he is going #2...his mouth goes into a perfect O and he looks like he is concentrating on some very distant object

~how I have learned how to survive with almost no sleep and at the same time I have truly come to appreciate a 30-minute power nap

~the love-hate relationship Beck has with swaddling.  He will not sleep for more than 30 minutes (if that) without being swaddled, but oh, how he fights you to get him swaddled.

~the love-hate relationship he has with his pacifier.  He hates it at all times except when he is being rocked to sleep.  The minute he is asleep, he spits it right out.

~the spot in the middle of his forehead, right where his nose meets it.  It is my absolute favorite place to kiss and smell.

~how I screamed today when he gave me a real open-mouth smile.  Not because he had just finished his milk, not because he was passing gas, but because we were "chatting" and being silly.

~how he all-of-a-sudden cannot figure out how to get himself to sleep in the car.  He used to be able to do this with no problem.  Now it is a major deal.

~how I thought I might never be here in this role of mother

~how I love having my entire day revolve around the eating and sleeping schedule of a person who depends 100% on me

~how I am taking it all in and storing it away deep in my heart