Dark Days and Bright Moments

Last week was rough.  Very little sleep, which for me is the reason everything else seems to fall apart.  Lots of tears, which also comes with very little sleep.  One early morning last week, while crying my eyes out, I cried out to God.  Not in my head, but with my mouth (with LP joining me in the background).  It went something like this:

"This is hard!  Where are you??  I need help.  I need sleep and You know I do!  Please give me some rest.  I need supernatural sleep...like 3 hours  that feels like 8 hours.  That would be perfect.  I know what you are thinking, God...'Well, dear Sarah Ellen, you asked for more children so I gave you more.'  Yes You did.  I have everything I've ever wanted and I am at one of the lowest points I have been in a while.  So now what??"   And then there was lots more sobbing and coughing and baby rocking.  There was also some husband-fussing, some more crying, some over-eating, some going-out-in-public-looking-like-poop, some more "where are you God?"  

Finally the weekend came.  And I rested.  Beck's tooth popped out (did I mention he was up at random times during the day and night too??).  I only had to get up once a night with LP instead of twice because Jeff was there to get up the other time.  And God said, "why don't you pick up that study of Philippians you were doing and abandoned?"  So I did.  I picked up in Philippians 2 and I have read and studied it every day for about 4 days.  Here are some highlights for me:

-"Everyone should look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others."-v.4

The SEAV (Sarah Ellen Application Version): "Take care of your kids and your husband and I will take care of you...including your intense need for sleep."

-"He (Jesus) humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death--even death on a cross."-v. 8

SEAV: "Jesus died for you so you would not have to spend eternity in hell, the hell that you deserve.  You can handle a few sleepless nights."

-"Do everything without grumbling or complaining." -v.15

SEAV: "Do everything without grumbling or complaining...because I have now given you two children for whom you did not have to gain weight or get stretch marks to have in your family."

Let's just say it has been a very humbling study for me thus far.  

And God has taken care of me.  He has shown me how to simplify and streamline my life.  He has shown me what is truly worth my time and what is not.  He has shown me how to stay on top of housework, healthy eating, some fun, and a little bit of exercise, all without losing my mind.  He even got me in the bed last night before 10!  

I am hoping that, with God leading the way, we will have only Bright Days.